I'm still alive, just a blogger slacker

Felicia has yet to arrive here on Oahu. Don't worry about anything, I think it is just going to be very rainy, which isn't really that unusual. It is INCREDIBLY muggy right now though. Super, super gross. But enjoy the video above that I took on a much nicer day a few weeks ago during sunrise on Kailua Beach (right behind my house).
xoxo
k

Sailing

So, I realize I haven't posted in over a month, so there's a very good chance there is no one left reading this. But in case there is (thanks!), here are some sailing pics from today. It was a therapeutic (albeit somewhat chilly) outing. Too cold to get in the water. On an unrelated note, I saw a sea turtle.Some people (read: highly intoxicated people) braved the icy ocean at the sandbar.

If you can manage to look past the adorable, sweepy puppy, you'll see Chinaman's Hat.



That's all for now.
k

Pali Lookout

Somewhere, during a TV shoot

The was a ridiculously ridiculous rainbow during a shoot for a TV commercial I was working on. You could see it all the way from one end to the other. Thankfully, we wrapped right before the rain...

Iolani Palace

Iolani Palace opens one night each year to celebrate the Queen's birthday. No photography is allowed inside, so I didn't have many opportunities for pics.


There was a pretty impressive line to get in...
long enough for the sun to set...

New Year's Day

Sailing was a perfect way to start 2009.

Kai is a picture perfect puppy!

Christmas Day

Me, Kai, and Jeff (my boss). It was the first time kayaking for both me and Kai!

Cribs Kailua, Part 2

Cribs Kailua, Part 1

So a number of people have asked about what my place looks like, exactly how small is it, can I send pictures, etc....walking back from the beach, I decided to address all these things through the magic of FlipVideo (great gift, Mom!).

Here is Part 1. It is not really that interesting.

Neither is Part 2.
But now you know.


k

Mele Kalikimaka

It was super windy on the beach today, so you can't hear me very well, but I pretty much just wanted to tell y'all merry Christmas and send you my love. Thank you all for the sweet cards and gifts and donations to the charities I listed in my earlier post. I will get thank you cards out!

k

Twas the Night Before Christmas, Pidgin Style

[courtesy of my coworker, Robbie)

Was da night bafo' Christmas,
and all ova' da place
Not even da geckos
was showin' their face.

Da stockings was hangin' on top da TV?
('Cause no mo' fireplace in Hawai'i)
Da kids stay all crashed, my old man too.
They leave all da work for you-know-who.

So me, I stay pickin' up alla their toys,
When - boom! - outside get only big noise!
I run to da window, I open 'em up,
I stick out my head and I yell, "Eh! Whassup?!"

And then, I no can ba-lieve what I seen!
Was so unreal, you know what I mean?
This fat haole guy get his reindeers in my yard!
And reindeers not housebroken, you know, as' why hard!

But nemmind, this Christmas, so I cut 'em some slack.
Plus, had uku pile presents pokin' outta his sack!
So I wait 'till he pau tie up his reindeer,
Then I yell out da window, "Huui! Brah, ova hea!"

An' I tell 'em first thing, when I open da door,
"Eh, Hemo your shoes! You going dirty my floor!"
He take off his boots, he tell, "You know who I am?"
I go, "Ho! From the smell, must be Mr. Toe Jam!"

He make mempachi eyes and he go, "Ho, ho, ho!"
By now, I stay thinking this guy kinda slow!
He look like my Tutu, but little less weight,
And his beard stay so white, mo' white than shark bait!

He stay all in red, specially his nose,
And get reindeer spit on top his nice clothes!
But him, he no care; he just smile at me,
And he start fo' put presents unda-neath da tree.

I tell 'em, "Eh, brah, no need make li'dat,
And watch where you step! You going ma-ke da cat!"
Then, out from his bag, he pull one brand new computah,
Choke video games, and one motorized scootah!

He try for fill up da Christmas socks too,
But had so much pukas, all da stuff went fall troo.
When he pau, I tell 'em, "Eh Santa, try wait!
I get plenty leftovahs, I go make you one plate!"

But he nevah like hang, he had so much fo' do;
Gotta make all them small kids' wishes come true.
So I wave 'em goodbye, and I flash 'em da shaka,
And I tell 'em, "Mele Kalikimaka!"

When he hear that, he stop and I telling you true,
He go, "Garans ball-barans! Merry Christmas to you!"

[preemptive strike: no, I probably don't know what whatever word you're wondering about means. I hoale, k brah?]

Happy Thanksgiving

My boss was kind enough to invite me to Thanksgiving brunch with his family. Afterward, I went sailing for the first time EVER!

It was fun, but I was a little bit green at the end. I saw a baby hammerhead shark in the water by the docks. Apparently Kaneohe Bay is a sanctuary for them. I also saw Gilligan's Island--like, THE island:
Here is a pic of me and the two sailors (my boss and his dad) that his lovely cousin took:
It has been a very nice Thanksgiving thus far. I am going to clean up a little and head over to the main house for my main meal with my landlady's family.

Love to you all.
k

Christmas is coming...

hard to believe! Especially when you don't experience winter in a traditional sense. Oh well, I'm not complaining, trust me.

I'd started a small wishlist on Amazon for those family members looking for little somethings to send--but my mom already bought everything on it, so take that up with her.

Seeing as how I have (or will have) all of the things I want and need, here is what I would love for Christmas, if you were planning on getting me a gift:

Please donate whatever you would have spent to one of the following charities (clicking on the name takes you directly to their online donation page):

• UNICEF
• Central Texas SPCA (your local SPCA is great, too--I am partial to CTSPCA because that is where Eevee is from)
• Emancipet
• Texas Hearing and Service Dogs
• Big Brothers Big Sisters
• A charity of your choice.

I not asking you to do this to sound good, hoping you'll send me a check too for being so...whatever. Seriously, if you send me a check, I will just send it to one of the above charities. So, choose a cause you like and save me a stamp.

I have a number of reasons I wanted to do this:

1. Like I said earlier, I already have everything I want and need.
2. I don't have room for any more stuff really.
3. I like all these charities, but I don't necessarily have the funds to make worthwhile contributions to all of them right now.
4. I worry that with the economy the way it is, people are going to cut back on their charitable giving.
5. I still haven't sent any of you thank you notes from my birthday...so...um...THANK YOU, by the way! No, but I really feel like I don't deserve to still be getting checks from all of you even though it is very, very sweet.
   

On a related note, I got a raise! So I am doing good right now. I don't need any more money or stuff.

Don't feel like you have to do anything for me, but if you were planning to, giving to a charity you like would make me really, very happy.

I have other stuff I've been meaning to blog about--these CrossFit classes I've been taking and pictures from the Pali lookout that I took over a week ago--but I am kind of wanting to veg out, so I don't know if I will get around to it tonight. We shall see.

Until later, best wishes.

k

Katy's first TV spot

Sort of. It's the first spot I've worked on all the way from the primary research phase all the way through to, well, it airing. I would say my input was minimal, but it was a huge learning experience nonetheless. Check it out: Kapi'olani TV Spot.

k

I have the nicest landlady EVER

She takes me to the private beaches on Bellows (her husband is retired military).

And bought me a shave ice on the way home (no picture--I'm bad about food pictures because I get excited and distracted about eating, and by the time I remember to take one, whatever it is is almost gone).
She even made me a dinner plate one night when I came home super late from work.
She is the coolest.

Family-Friendly Content

Here are a couple more Halloween pics, for those left out of the previous group shots:

April and Jeff, with two different takes on Labor Day.

Annika, Christmas.

Hm, well, maybe I spoke too soon on the family-friendly thing. We're kind of a boozy bunch...

...and it was a holiday...

...and the last Friday of the month (FIF)...
No, actually the alcohol is surprisingly well hidden in those pictures. Or maybe we'd just gone through most of it by then. Who knows?

I kid.

We are all very safe and responsible.

Unfortunately, I did give my boss my margarita recipe, which was no doubt the ultimate job security. Oh well.

Parking in the Porno District

So parking here is pretty redic. Honolulu was deemed the third most expensive city for both daily and monthly parking, behind New York and Boston. And that's if you can find it.

My work is cool enough to give everyone a $100 monthly parking stipend, but you are on your own to find a place. When I first got hired, I went through about eight garages and lots before I finally found a surface lot fairly close to my building with space available. Then toward the middle of last month, I arrive at my car only to find a letter under the windshield that said as of October 31, my lot would no longer be open. Swell.

The semi-good news was that the management company offered discounted rates to another one of their lots not far down the same street. I figured, hey, if it means I save about thirty bucks a month, I'm willing to walk an extra hundred yards.

Then I realize my new lot is located between this:

(Backseat Betty's Love Boutique)

and this:
(Club Moulin Rouge)

Now in all fairness, this didn't come as a total shock since I was parking up the street next to Axxxtion Video, not to mention all of the Korean hookers that come out at night between my building and the Wal-Mart. But, still, I think it's pretty hilarious.

Now, for those of you family members still reading after my obscenity-filled menehune post, worry not:

1. I have mace on my keychain.
2. I almost always arrive/leave in the daylight.
3. When I do leave after dark, my boss always drives me to my car.
4. I almost always call someone so I am on the phone while I'm walking.
5. It's a very busy area, so there are always people out walking around and whatnot (read: too many potential witnesses).
6. I feel pretty confident that nasty perverts are going to be more interested in the naked women and booze at Club Moulin Rouge than me, especially considering the area (being white, I'm not exactly their type).

Really, I'm just posting this because I told my parents the story, and I think they think I was joking that the store is called Backseat Betty's.

I rest my case.

k

Sunday on the beach

Night Walkers and Menahune

WARNING: This post contains subject matter not suitable for all audiences.

I know I have had some younger members of my extended family following my posts recently, and, while I appreciate the increased readership, this entry should be filtered out. Not only will the subject matter give young ones nightmares (it gave me nightmares), but it will undoubtedly contain a higher than usual use of expletives.

So, if you are under the age of 13 or simply do not want to be freaked out: night walkers and menahune are Hawaiian urban legends. They were simply made up by white people to exploit indigenous people or made up by indigenous people to scare away white people, depending on who you ask. Regardless, they are not real. Stop reading now.


....

For the rest of you:

NIGHT WALKERS AND MENAHUNE ARE TOTALLY FUCKING REAL.

Seriously, I am not joking at all. It is not funny.

I originally heard about night walkers and menahune from a fellow mainland transplant. We were driving through the pucas (tunnels through the mountains) and he made some remark about it taking hard working menahune to pull off building the tunnels. And I was like, wtf is a menahune? And he was like, You don't know about the menahune? And I was like, No, what, so they built these? And he was like, Not exactly...do you know about the night walkers? And I was like, No...are you totally just screwing around with me right now, because I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. But the whole time he has this super serious look on his face, and he was like, ask someone at your work to tell you about it--I'm not gonna talk about it.

So I was like, okay, that's really strange. And based on his reaction, I was like, hell, I am not going to bring this up at work because it seems like kind of a sensative subject, so I just kind of forgot about it.

Then I see a Christmas ad for Ala Moana Mall that references the menahune helping Santa build the toys and whatnot, and so I was like, oh, okay, they're like elves or something--Hawaii's version of leprechauns--not a big deal.

WRONG.

On Friday, during our little office Halloween party, someone suggests we go around and tell ghost stories. One of the founders was like, are we telling real ghost stories, like menahune? And someone answered, why do you have one?

And that's when shit got scary.

First, let me explain, this guy is way grounded and down-to-earth. Not the crazy, I-was-abducted-by-Nessie type of person. He told us he was not under the influence of anything when the incidents he experienced as an adult occurred, and that those that happened when he was a child were not just figments of his imagination. Not only that, but you could tell he was honestly affected when recounting the stories, and he eventually had to stop talking about it.

Oh, and I guess I should tell you: menahune are small, ancient, indigenous Hawaiians. Night walkers are the spirits of ancient Hawaiians.

Okay, so on to the stories:

• Growing up, the house he lived in (which his dad still lives in) was like Amityville Horror. He said he had a hard time watching the movie because it was so similar to his experiences as a child. The front door would open and rattle on its hinges, all on its own.
• He can see night walkers. Some people are predis---HOLY HELL! I JUST LOOKED OVER BECAUSE I SAW SOMETHING MOVING OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE AND THERE IS A BLACK CAT AT MY DOOR WHICH I LEFT OPEN AND IT IS STARING AT ME HOLY CRAP I ALMOST JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK SHIT. Whew. Seriously, that was freaky. Shit. I hope I don't die writing this or some Ring bullshit. Damn. Okay, so anyway, not everyone can see night walkers, only some people. And some people (not necessarily the people who see them) are predisposed to night walker attacks (which we will get to momentarily). This guy at work can see night walkers, but he can't see faces. Whenever he sees them, they have their backs turned towards him. His dad and his grandmother can both see faces.
• Shortly after his mother died, he was laying in his bed when he felt the presence of two people in his room. He heard his mother's voice tell him to roll over and lay on his stomach. As he is rolling over, he said he felt the presences in the room trying to roll him the other way, back onto his back, but they failed. The next night, or some later night, same thing, except he doesn't roll over in time. He feels a presence on top of him, sitting on his chest, pushing the air out of him. He opened his eyes and saw a large, silver-haired Hawaiian man with his back towards him, and another at the foot of the bed. He said he was trapped and couldn't move and had no breath to scream for help. He just closed his eyes and prayed that they would go away, which they eventually did. He told his dad about the whole incident, and he told him that night walkers will not attack you if you are laying on your stomach, which is why his mother told him to roll over that first night.
• One day, his grandmother was walking his little brother up to the house, when a menahune charged at his little brother, sending him flying through the air and leaving him minorly injured. His little brother never saw anything, because he doesn't have the sight, but his grandmother saw the menahune clearly and finally insisted they have a Kahuna come out to the house.
• The Kahuna finds seven ancient Hawaiian graves on their property. He digs holes beside each one and tells them to fill each hole with a traditional Hawaiian feast every day for a week. They did, and the night walkers stopped coming in the house.
• The Kahuna also told them that the wall running along their property had been built specifically to keep the menahune off the property, and they can never tear it down. If they sell the house, they have to tell the new buyers not to tear it down either. On the other side of the wall is the menahune's path to their water source (a nearby waterfall) and without that wall to keep them at bay, they will start coming into the house and they will wreak all kinds of havoc and likely make the inhabitants sick.

That's where his stories stopped. But other people had more:

• Apparently, the Safeway in Kaneohe didn't have a Kahuna come out before they started construction (HUGE no-no around here). They build right over the path of the night walkers. A different coworker of mine had a friend who worked there, and he said they had to stop restocking the aisles at night because the night walkers would come through and destroy everything running through the area of the store where their path was. If they left a pallet out, it would end up strewn everywhere. So, no more night stocking.
• Same kind of thing in Maui, when a hotel (I think Hilton) started construction without having a Kahuna out first. All kinds of weird shit starts happening, materials get destroyed, workers are getting sick and injured at an alarmingly high rate, etc. So they go ahead and bring a Kahuna out and he says, yeah, you're building on a menahune path. This shit is so for real, an international chain redesigns their multi-million dollar resort around it. They not only built in a different area, they built a walled path just for the menahune. Seriously, it's there, you can go see it.

So, lessons:

• Sleep on your stomach when staying in Hawaii to avoid night walker attacks.
• Always have a Kahuna out before starting construction or demolition in Hawaii.
• Always have a traditional blessing when living/working somewhere new in Hawaii.

I dare you not to have bad dreams about this crap.

You're welcome.

Happy Halloween!

So, the rule this year at the office was you had to dress up or you buy everyone ice cream. The theme was holidays. Here are some preliminary pics:

Back row: me-Texas Independence Day (represent!), Brad-Boy's Day (Japanese holiday, I think), Amy-May Day, April-Labor Day, Darin-Easter (complete with candy!). Front row: Zee-Election Day, Brandon-April Fool's, Susan-Christmas